Catalogue of Ankh-Morpork districts¶

Nap Hill¶

• Description: The wealthiest residential area, home to the nobility (Lord Rust, Lord Selachii), senior guild leaders, and retired merchants who have made their fortune. Large, well-appointed houses with private gardens and servants’ quarters. Named for its quiet, sleepy atmosphere—at least during the day.

• Wealth Level: High

• Population Density: Low (spacious properties, many servants who commute in)

• Infrastructure Quality: High (private wells, well-maintained private clacks connections, priority road repairs)

• Political Influence: Very High (occupants include the Patrician’s “advisory council” and major guild heads)

• Media Attention Multiplier: 2.0x (a broken pipe here is front page news; the Ankh-Morpork Times knows its readership)

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Social Inequality (Beneficiary): Existence depends on cheap labour from poorer districts. A transport strike that prevents servants from arriving is a crisis.

  • Organisational Fragmentation: Multiple noble factions (Rust vs. Venturi) with ancient grudges can paralyse collective action.

  • Narrative Effects: Highly visible; any disruption is symbolically significant.

• Narrative Hooks: “Nap Hill residents demand river view protected from new bridge,” “Lord Rust’s carriage overturns on poorly maintained road; blames Watch for not directing traffic.”

The Shades¶

• Description: The oldest part of the city, a labyrinth of narrow, twisting streets and overhanging buildings that block out the sun. Technically under the dominion of Unseen University, but in practice, a law unto itself. Home to the poorest of the poor, and those who prefer to live outside the guild system.

• Wealth Level: Very Low

• Population Density: Very High (people live in every available space, including cellars and attics)

• Infrastructure Quality: Very Low (communal pumps often fail, streets are open sewers, buildings are held up by habit)

• Political Influence: Negligible (no guild representation; its residents are invisible to the city’s power structures)

• Media Attention Multiplier: 0.2x (unless something dramatic happens, the press ignores it)

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Extreme Underinvestment: No one maintains anything because no one owns anything officially.

  • Social Inequality (Victim): Maximum impact.

  • Organisational Fragmentation: Multiple gangs, secret societies, and isolated communities with no single leader to negotiate with.

  • Amplifier (Just-in-time): Residents live hand-to-mouth; any supply disruption is immediately catastrophic.

• Narrative Hooks: “Fire in the Shades spreads for hours before Watch notices,” “Shades residents block entrance to Cockbill Street demanding clean water,” “Rumour of hidden treasure draws adventurers into the Shades; none return.”

Cockbill street (within the Shades)¶

• Description: The poorest street in the poorest district, but with a fierce local pride. Residents would rather starve than admit they need help. Samuel Vimes was raised here, which gives it a peculiar symbolic importance.

• Wealth Level: Very Low (but with high “pride” capital)

• Population Density: Very High (even more crowded than the rest of the Shades)

• Infrastructure Quality: Very Low (but residents will mend things themselves rather than ask for help)

• Political Influence: Low (but has one indirect champion: Commander Vimes)

• Media Attention Multiplier: Variable. Normally 0.1x, but if Vimes is involved, spikes to 1.5x.

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Extreme Underinvestment: Same as Shades, but worse.

  • Social Inequality (Victim): Maximum impact, compounded by pride that prevents求助.

  • Narrative Effects: If Vimes visits, it becomes a story about “the Commander’s humble roots.” If he doesn’t, it’s forgotten.

• Narrative Hooks: “Cockbill Street pump breaks; residents refuse to report it for a week,” “Vimes personally pays for new roof on childhood home; neighbours torn between gratitude and insult,” “Street celebrates ‘Founder’s Day’ with a parade of antique poverty.”

Isle of Gods¶

• Description: A residential area almost encircled by the river Ankh, giving it a semi-insular character. Historically home to temples and their attendants, now a mix of modest clergy housing, small merchants, and respectable artisan families. Quiet, conservative, and proud of its separation from the chaos of the main city.

• Wealth Level: Medium (stable, comfortable, not rich)

• Population Density: Medium (respectable houses with small yards)

• Infrastructure Quality: Medium (well-maintained by local initiative, but not a city priority)

• Political Influence: Medium (the various temples have influence, and the Chief Priest resides nearby)

• Media Attention Multiplier: 0.8x (religious festivals and river issues get coverage)

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Organisational Fragmentation: Multiple competing temples (Blind Io, Offler, Seven-Handed Sek) with different priorities.

  • Geographic Isolation: The river bend means only one reliable bridge connection; transport failures here are magnified.

  • Underinvestment (Moderate): The city assumes the temples will maintain their own area, which they do, but unevenly.

• Narrative Hooks: “Isle of Gods bridge closed for repairs; residents demand ferry service,” “Temple of Offer demands river cleaning after crocodile spotted near shore,” “Inter-faith potluck dinner ends in doctrinal dispute over who brought the offending sausage.”

The University precinct¶

• Description: The area immediately surrounding Unseen University, including the sprawling campus itself, wizards’ quarters, and businesses catering to magical folk (scroll makers, thaumic regulators, “reliable” taverns). The University’s 800-foot Tower of Art dominates the skyline.

• Wealth Level: High (the University is immensely wealthy; the surrounding businesses thrive on wizard gold)

• Population Density: Medium (lots of institutional space, but wizards live in reasonable comfort)

• Infrastructure Quality: High (the University maintains its own infrastructure to a high standard; the city’s infrastructure nearby benefits from spillover)

• Political Influence: Very High (the Archchancellor is one of the few people who can, theoretically, defy the Patrician)

• Media Attention Multiplier: 1.5x (wizard news sells papers, especially if things explode)

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Vendor Monoculture: Many businesses rely almost entirely on UU custom; if the University closes its gates, they fail.

  • Narrative Effects: Highly visible; magical mishaps are impossible to hide.

  • Organisational Fragmentation (Internal): The University faculty are a law unto themselves; dealing with them requires navigating arcane internal politics.

• Narrative Hooks: “Wizard experiment causes three days of perpetual twilight over Precinct,” “Local scroll shop owner demands UU pay outstanding bills dating back to last Archchancellor,” “Students pelt Watch with custard pies during annual Rite of AshkEnte.”

The Merchant Quarter (including Filigree Street)¶

• Description: The commercial heart of the city, home to banks, exchanges, high-end shops, and the Mended Drum. Where deals are made, fortunes are won and lost, and the city’s commercial soul resides.

• Wealth Level: High (commercial wealth, though owners may live elsewhere)

• Population Density: High during day, Low at night (mostly shops and businesses, few residents)

• Infrastructure Quality: High (good roads, reliable clacks connections, private security)

• Political Influence: Very High (the Guilds are headquartered nearby; this is their territory)

• Media Attention Multiplier: 1.8x (commercial news is city news)

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Just-in-time Logistics: Businesses hold minimal stock; supply chain disruptions cause immediate failure.

  • Organisational Fragmentation: Multiple guilds with competing interests (Merchants vs. Thieves vs. Lawyers) struggle for advantage.

  • Criminal Target: High value, high footfall, maximum opportunity for theft, fraud, and extortion.

• Narrative Hooks: “Filigree Street bank run after rumour of insolvency,” “Thieves’ Guild ‘quota day’ causes merchant strike,” “Mended Drum brawl spills into street, breaks new fountain.”

Small Gods¶

• Description: A sprawling, mixed-use district south of the river. A chaotic blend of small workshops, terraced housing, pubs, and minor temples. The default “ordinary Ankh-Morpork”, not rich, not desperately poor, just getting on with it. Name is a pun on “small gods” (the minor deities) and its modest scale.

• Wealth Level: Low to Medium (working poor to comfortable artisan)

• Population Density: High (mixed housing and workshops crammed together)

• Infrastructure Quality: Low to Medium (patchy; some streets maintained, others not)

• Political Influence: Low (no single voice; represented indirectly through multiple minor guilds)

• Media Attention Multiplier: 0.5x (only reported in aggregate: “Small Gods residents complain about…”)

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Underinvestment (Chronic): Always the last to receive upgrades, the first to be overlooked.

  • Social Inequality (Moderate): Residents see Nap Hill every day across the river.

  • Organisational Fragmentation: Hundreds of small businesses, dozens of micro-communities, no single leader.

  • Amplifier (Just-in-time): Most workshops run on thin margins; a week without power means bankruptcy.

• Narrative Hooks: “Small Gods tanners’ district pollutes river downstream of Isle of Gods; diplomatic incident,” “Workshop fire spreads through three streets before inadequate pump located,” “Local hero prevents robbery of pie shop; rewarded with free pies for life.”

The river Ankh itself¶

• Description: Not a district in the conventional sense, but a critical linear feature dividing the city. Too thick to drink, too thin to plough. Serves as transport artery, sewer, water source (regrettably), and symbolic heart of the city’s unique character.

• Wealth Level: N/A

• Population Density: N/A (but heavily used by barges, fishermen, and launderers)

• Infrastructure Quality: Very Low (it’s a river; it does what it wants)

• Political Influence: Medium (affects everyone; no one controls it)

• Media Attention Multiplier: 1.2x (river stories are perennial favourites: floods, fires, curious objects floating by)

• Systemic Stressors:

  • Underinvestment: Dredging? Pollution control? That would cost money.

  • Interdependence: Every district depends on it for waste removal; some depend on it for water.

  • Narrative Effects: The river’s state is a metaphor for the city’s health. A cleaner river means progress; a thicker river means decay.

• Narrative Hooks: “River Ankh catches fire again; insurance companies refuse to pay,” “Barge collision blocks main channel; goods pile up at docks,” “Mysterious object found floating in river turns out to be stolen museum exhibit.”

Summary table for quick reference¶

This district framework is to creates meaningful trade-offs for crisis management:

• Do you fix Nap Hill’s water first (high political cost if you don’t) or Small Gods’ (more lives affected)?

• A failure in the Shades barely makes the papers, but letting it fester creates long-term crime and health problems that will eventually affect everyone.

• The Isle of Gods bridge collapse affects few people numerically, but the religious and symbolic consequences are significant.

• The Merchant Quarter failure gets fixed fast because the guilds demand it, but that diverts resources from elsewhere.